1 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,354 - Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,138 - There is a deadly mantid running around. 3 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,661 I called in Agent Jules Gardner 4 00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,011 to assist us in the investigation. 5 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:13,404 - This has serial killer written all over it. 6 00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,189 I'm sure we'll catch whoever it is in no time. 7 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:19,671 - I killed a mantid. Ate his guts. 8 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,326 - I will take two boxes. - And this is yours, too. 9 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,067 We don't even need that implant to watch you. 10 00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,243 We're watching you anyway. We're everywhere. 11 00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,071 The Greys show up looking for her, we'll see them. 12 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,333 I set up indoor cameras. 13 00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,552 I don't know where she is. 14 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,075 I want you to meet your kids. 15 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,946 Heather, I'm actually a human. 16 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,165 What? 17 00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:37,211 You deserve to have what we had before. 18 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:38,821 I can no longer give you that. 19 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:51,051 Running has existed in the universe for billions of years 20 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,836 as a necessary part of a creature's survival. 21 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:57,622 Modern humans do this too, but they call it jogging. 22 00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,848 - If a human from a million years ago 23 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,284 saw us running for fun, 24 00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:10,113 he would laugh and laugh until the sound brought 25 00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,028 a woolly mammoth to eat him. 26 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:20,515 You're in the middle of the road! 27 00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,450 Hmm, hmm, hmm. 28 00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:44,365 Because humans have diminished mental capacity 29 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:48,020 and bad eyesight, we must hang giant reminders for ourselves. 30 00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:50,197 How else will I remember where the incredibly 31 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,547 huge body of water is? 32 00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:56,594 - And if you can show your life is better 33 00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,119 than everyone else's, you win humaning. 34 00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,209 35 00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,949 36 00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,168 37 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:07,127 38 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:10,869 39 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,483 FootGuy1172 has already liked it. 40 00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:17,224 Oh. 41 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:23,621 I am doing everything humans do. 42 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:26,798 So why am I feeling empty inside? 43 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,932 Do all humans feel this way when they are alone? 44 00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:33,457 I made up a word for it... alone-liness. 45 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,807 I think most humans are alone-ly. 46 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,201 That is why so many people believe in aliens. 47 00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:42,074 It is comforting for them to know they are not alone. 48 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:44,512 - Which is exactly why Peter Bach created 49 00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,514 the Alien Tracker podcast. 50 00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,907 As you know, Peter passed away last year, 51 00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:52,041 but I am proud to continue his legacy. 52 00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:53,651 I am Liv Baker. 53 00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:56,959 And welcome again to my podcast, "Alien Cracker," 54 00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,961 where I will discuss aliens, 55 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:01,746 as well as the best cheese and cracker pairings. 56 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,493 Mmm. 57 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,931 Today, I am trying a delicious rosemary wheat cracker 58 00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:16,326 with a Vermont goat cheese as I discuss the search 59 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,807 for Peter Bach's son, Robert. 60 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:22,158 But first, a word from our sponsor. 61 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,814 Hey, alien lovers. 62 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,730 Maybe the moon isn't made of cheese. 63 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:32,777 But our Vermont Select holiday platter is. 64 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,521 - Cracker? - Oh. No, thank you. 65 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,262 I don't eat appetizers in closets. 66 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,786 That's stretch-out food. 67 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,353 What are you doing? 68 00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,877 I'm just recording my podcast, 69 00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:48,358 trying to find the Alien Tracker's son, Robert. 70 00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:51,100 I'll pack my stuff up and go. 71 00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,058 No, no, no, no, no. 72 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:54,973 You stay. 73 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,367 I'm headed over to the 59. 74 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,108 I think it's good you're getting the word out. 75 00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,370 I mean, all this... 76 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,416 this alien stuff, it's all connected somehow. 77 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:05,288 So maybe, if we find Robert, we can find Joseph. 78 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,464 Yeah. Good work, Deputy. 79 00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:10,902 It's so good to hear you say that, 80 00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:14,079 to know I finally have a partner in this. 81 00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,256 Yeah. 82 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,693 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy! Easy, Deputy. 83 00:04:18,736 --> 00:04:19,955 Haven't you read the HR pamphlet? 84 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,435 We can't be hugging in no closets. 85 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:24,046 Big no-no. Big-ass no-no. 86 00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:25,656 No, no, no, no, no. 87 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,397 No, no. 88 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,334 We'll be right back. Thank you. 89 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,336 - Humans are just like animals. 90 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,556 Both are drawn to communal areas. 91 00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:58,646 This is why bars are called watering holes. 92 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,431 Bars are also called church so that Irish men 93 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:04,608 do not have to lie to their wives. 94 00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,306 Well, look who it is. The good doctor. 95 00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,003 You are alone-ly, too. 96 00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:10,658 I will sit with you, and we can hide 97 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:14,270 from the cold, desperate pain of alone-liness. 98 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,445 Man, if you're trying to say lonely, 99 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:16,968 I'm the opposite of that. 100 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,841 I have the aching needs of an entire community on me. 101 00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:21,625 If it wasn't for my ethical standards, 102 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,366 I'd never pay for another drink in my life. 103 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,804 Pro tip... you can also get that by wearing a miniskirt. 104 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:28,980 I see you discovered social media. 105 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,113 I followed you. You're welcome. 106 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,115 107 00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:37,337 108 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,426 Unfollow. 109 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,384 Hey, you still having kickoff karaoke here 110 00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,038 before the Mining Days festival? 111 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,388 Why, are you thinking about bribing a judge or something? 112 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:49,174 That's ridiculous. 113 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,440 The category is '80s power ballads. 114 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,398 '80s power ballads. 115 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,922 Mm-hmm. 116 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,186 Hey, Doc, check it out. 117 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,015 Looks like that nice lady over there has got eyes for you. 118 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,061 I already have eyes. 119 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,324 Go talk to her. Tell her you're a doctor. 120 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,282 Women love that. 121 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:13,285 - Perhaps this is the answer to my alone-liness. 122 00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,200 I will do what humans do... 123 00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:19,422 find a partner who will spend their life trying to fix me. 124 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:22,338 Hello. 125 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:26,211 I'm Harry. I'm the town doctor. 126 00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:28,083 I know a lot of doctor things. 127 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,390 Really? I'm Lydia. 128 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,869 I work in the bookstore. 129 00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:36,134 And I know a lot of book things. 130 00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:40,400 And I know a handsome man when I see one. 131 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,053 Handsome? Me? 132 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:44,708 Oh, I don't know. I used to think so. 133 00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:47,972 But lately, I don't know about this nose and this... 134 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,409 this neck skin. 135 00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,978 Mm. 136 00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:56,459 So, doctor, hmm? 137 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,462 - Do you enjoy it? - Not very much. 138 00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,246 But you would if we were a couple. 139 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:02,465 Oh. And why is that? 140 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,728 Because doctors are good at sex, 141 00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,252 because doctors have seen lots of vaginas. 142 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,776 What? 143 00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,735 Doctors have seen so many vaginas. 144 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:14,651 I swear, you cannot swing a stethoscope 145 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:17,132 - in my office without seeing... - I heard you. 146 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,568 A vagina. 147 00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,657 This morning, a woman came in. 148 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,398 Bam! Vagina. 149 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,921 OK, man. 150 00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:26,489 I'm just leaving with my friend here. 151 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,273 My friend's drunk on stupid. 152 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,407 Wait, wait. 153 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,365 So what the hell are you doing, talking about vaginas? 154 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:37,108 I am just looking for a mate so that I'm no longer lonely... 155 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:38,501 alone-ly... loney. 156 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,895 I'm... I'm alone. 157 00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:42,374 Well, this ain't how you do it, all right? 158 00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:43,550 If you want something real, 159 00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:44,986 you're better off building a foundation... 160 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:47,510 you know, taking your time, like I did with Lena. 161 00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:48,946 But don't take too much time, 162 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,165 'cause then you get friend zoned. 163 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,471 What is friend zoned? 164 00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:53,995 Oh, what is friend zoned? 165 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:57,128 It's like you're outside a cupcake shop, right? 166 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,695 And the line is real long, but you wait, 167 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,654 'cause those cupcakes are great. 168 00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,482 And you finally get in, but now the cupcake's 169 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,484 sleeping with somebody who slipped in the back door. 170 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,311 - Ho-ho! - Mm-hmm. 171 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,617 Thank you. 172 00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,010 I'm going to go tell Lydia that I'd like 173 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:10,402 - to slip in her back door. - No, no! 174 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:11,969 No, no, no. 175 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,667 Forget Lydia, please, before she calls the cops. 176 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,233 I don't want to have to arrest you. 177 00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:16,757 I still got half a beer left. 178 00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,195 Lord have mercy. 179 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,689 Oh. Oh. 180 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,429 Hey. Did I miss my dad playing? 181 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:38,866 Just the first set. 182 00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:42,565 But you somehow still manage to look so beautiful. 183 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,654 OK, I told you, we are not getting a dog. 184 00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,526 Oh, that's right. Sorry. 185 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,005 I already submitted an application 186 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,659 for that place in Jessup, so... 187 00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:50,834 - No. - Yeah. 188 00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,793 - D'arcy. - Oops. 189 00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,664 Hey, you guys were great. 190 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,797 I was here behind, uh, someone tall. 191 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,189 Just in time. 192 00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:01,366 Maybe you can talk some sense into your father. 193 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,020 OK. Um, what? 194 00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,414 You swearing off pie now, too? 195 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,982 Just cake and cookies, never pie. 196 00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:10,158 See? You and Harry are more alike than you think. 197 00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,507 What did Sampson mean? 198 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,727 He submitted our stuff to some music festival, 199 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,337 and we got in. 200 00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:17,382 Now he thinks I can just pick up and hit the road with him 201 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,080 for a week like we're 19. 202 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:21,386 - Dad, that's great. - Really? 203 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:24,520 Because I'm not 19. I'm 119. 204 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,740 - And I have a job. - Are you sure? 205 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,742 You should go. 206 00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:30,613 Plus, I could watch the diner. 207 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,746 - You already have a job. - Yeah. 208 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:35,052 And the clinic is just a stone's throw away 209 00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,011 from the diner, which I literally know 210 00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:38,621 from that time that D'arcy got drunk, 211 00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,667 and she bet some guy in front of the diner that she could 212 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,583 hit the clinic with a rock. 213 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,236 I appreciate it, but no thanks. 214 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,630 - Come on. - My fans are waiting. 215 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,545 I gotta get ready for the next set. 216 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,852 OK. 217 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,421 I can't believe my dad. 218 00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,510 He doesn't trust me to watch the diner for a week. 219 00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,991 I mean, it's right down the street from the clinic. 220 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:02,732 A stone's throw away. 221 00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,647 That's what I said. 222 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,083 Sometimes I think he still just sees me 223 00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,085 as this little girl that used to sit at the counter 224 00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,261 with crayons instead of a capable adult 225 00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:12,089 who has a job and lives on her own. 226 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,439 - Well, you live with me. - Not if you get a dog. 227 00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,572 Asta! Asta. 228 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,660 Asta! 229 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,619 Whoa! 230 00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:23,144 Asta, will you marry me? 231 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,232 What? 232 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,799 Dog not looking so bad now, is it? 233 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,542 Wow. 234 00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:33,154 Two alien proposals in one month. 235 00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:35,112 I can't get a normal date, but suddenly 236 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,941 I'm the belle of the alien ball. 237 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,769 I'm not an alien anymore. 238 00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:43,512 I'm just a human man trying to backdoor a human woman. 239 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,035 What? 240 00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:47,037 No, look, never mind. 241 00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:50,432 Thank you for these flowers. But why did you propose to me? 242 00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,782 Because I don't want to be alone. 243 00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,700 Oh. 244 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,791 Harry. 245 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:07,057 When I was with Heather and my bird babies, I felt so full. 246 00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:10,234 I felt whole. 247 00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:12,759 They're gone. 248 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,848 But... 249 00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:18,329 I still want a family. 250 00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,723 Well, you have family. You have Bridget. 251 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,421 I know how much he means to you. 252 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,597 - I do like my Bridget. - Yeah. 253 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:28,688 In the mornings, he is so cute. 254 00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:32,430 Sometimes, I just want to punch him in the throat! 255 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,781 Hmm? 256 00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:38,959 That's how my father showed affection. 257 00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:40,569 Oh, OK. 258 00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:45,705 Well, maybe you should spend more time with him. 259 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:48,446 And take these flowers back to the fake flower store. 260 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,535 - Hmm? - Oh. 261 00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:53,756 They're not from a store. I got them from a grave. 262 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,236 Asta is right. 263 00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,672 The connection I have with Bridget 264 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,153 is as strong as any I could get with a mate. 265 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,813 When I was an alien, I thought being a father 266 00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,293 was just freezing your child in the ice wind desert 267 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:10,991 and kicking him in the face. 268 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:15,343 But now it feels like there is so much more. 269 00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:16,518 - Ready for this? - Ready for what? 270 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,085 Watch this. Watch this. 271 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,651 - Wham! - Aww. 272 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,697 Give up! 273 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,090 Hello? 274 00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:24,265 You gotta be kidding me. 275 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:25,614 I can't believe you won again. 276 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:27,007 - You want to try again? - Ridiculous. 277 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,878 - Hello? - You just got got. 278 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:32,534 This could be good. 279 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:33,709 What better way to bond with my child 280 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,406 than meeting his friends? 281 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,321 This will be fun. 282 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:38,932 Who's the dork? 283 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,848 Ah, Bridget's dad. 284 00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:44,894 - I'm sure it will still be a little fun. 285 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,158 - Hey. - Hmm? 286 00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,030 Did you know Liv had a podcast? 287 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,422 Yeah. 288 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,424 I think, uh, it's about her Alien Tracker friend. 289 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,948 She does it in the supply closet at work. 290 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,863 I'm actually in the background of an episode 291 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,560 - looking for staples. - Listen to this. 292 00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:00,605 - Are aliens harvesting souls? 293 00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,390 We don't know, but at Smith Farm Stand, 294 00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:03,826 we harvest the freshest vegetables. 295 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,349 Not that. 296 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,787 - Although the Alien Tracker is no longer with us, 297 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,833 the search for his son, Robert, continues. 298 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,836 Apparently, he was abducted from his mother's womb 299 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,359 before he was born. 300 00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:16,708 Sound familiar? 301 00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:17,971 Hmm. 302 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:20,060 I think it's time we talk to Liv. 303 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,888 Wait, are... are you sure? 304 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,411 I thought you were worried about Mike getting in the way. 305 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,456 Oh, Mike can't know. Just Liv. 306 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,763 She says that she has information 307 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,460 she can't share with the public. 308 00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:32,637 Maybe it's something that can help us get our baby. 309 00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:35,162 You know, with those little freak alien girls watching us, 310 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,816 it's just getting more dangerous. 311 00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:37,991 Mm. 312 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,865 Are those cookies from the alien girl? 313 00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:47,217 Well, they're still cookies. 314 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:04,452 And I said, nice try. 315 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:06,758 My mom would never do that. 316 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,458 I know a couple of Decathroids 317 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,155 who would say different. 318 00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:15,289 I'll Decathroid your hidden third eye if you don't shut up. 319 00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,899 All right. Chill. 320 00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:20,294 Look, the point is, the ship exploded, 321 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:23,732 and I won 40 million sonira. 322 00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:24,907 Boom! 323 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,344 That's like six American dollars. 324 00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,739 What? 325 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,219 Do not roll your eyes at me. 326 00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:35,439 Let's just change the subject, OK? 327 00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:38,007 Let's talk about, um, sport. 328 00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:40,183 Homo sapiens sports are boring. 329 00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:41,576 No one ever gets killed. 330 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:42,882 If you're playing with a ball, 331 00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,536 and it's not even on fire, why should I care? 332 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,974 Because that's what polite conversation is. 333 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,454 You pretend to be interested in what someone is saying. 334 00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,674 Mm. Mm. 335 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,502 Mm. Yeah, even if they're boring. 336 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,460 Mm, mm, mm. 337 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,332 Like you right now. 338 00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:01,422 Oh, that is so funny. 339 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,076 You are supposed to eat the outside 340 00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,121 of the olive, not the pit! 341 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,515 And your shirt is not a napkin. 342 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,473 Dude, it's a poker game, not a tea party. 343 00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:10,822 Actually, it stopped being a poker game 344 00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:13,260 when I realized you were all reading my mind. 345 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:14,696 That's cheating! 346 00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,698 It's not our fault you're a human now. 347 00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,924 Stop speaking telepathically! 348 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:27,361 You know, you are very rude guests. 349 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:31,321 Relax. Stop being such a Ho-sape. 350 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,410 How dare you. 351 00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,325 That is our word, OK? 352 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,806 You're not allowed to use that word. 353 00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,199 That's it. This game is over. 354 00:15:39,242 --> 00:15:40,461 Everybody out! 355 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:41,941 OK, Dad. 356 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,508 Let's go back to my place. I just got a fish tank. 357 00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,554 Great. We're taking the table with us. 358 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,556 - See you later, Hume. - Oh, no! 359 00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,036 See, that's also problematic! 360 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,951 Mm-hmm. 361 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:54,475 I do not care! 362 00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,346 You do not need friends like that. 363 00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,392 You have me. I'm your father. 364 00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,741 I am all you need. 365 00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:04,789 Wait. You do not run away from me! 366 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,748 Do not slam that door, young man... 367 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,445 Son of a bitch! 368 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,192 Good morning. 369 00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:22,242 Why are you here? 370 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,200 Someone has to watch the diner while you 371 00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,028 go play the music festival. 372 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,161 Asta, we talked about this. 373 00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,032 - You have a job. - Yes. 374 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,512 And I can do both. 375 00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:32,730 I can open the diner, 376 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:33,862 and then I can go check in at the clinic, 377 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,037 and then I can come back to the diner. 378 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,430 It's great exercise. 379 00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:38,649 - Asta... - Talking is over, OK? 380 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:39,999 You're going. 381 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,261 'Cause soon, you'll be an elder. 382 00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:44,046 Whoa. Stop throwing that word around. 383 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,743 I'm not an elder yet. 384 00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,702 Well, soon, you will be one. 385 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,834 And you'll be too busy with opening prayers 386 00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,271 and land acknowledgments. 387 00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,012 There'll be no time for hitting the road, old man. 388 00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:54,970 Right now, you look like a rock star. 389 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,972 Go be one. 390 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,279 I already told the band I'm not going. 391 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:03,631 Well, I told them you are going, hm? 392 00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:06,373 And I can take care of the diner while you're gone. 393 00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:08,462 I've worked here my whole life, on and off. 394 00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,986 - I know how things operate. - When are the food deliveries? 395 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,640 Tuesdays and Thursdays. 396 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,294 Driver's name is Hal. 397 00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:16,600 I even have his number, just in case there's a problem. 398 00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:19,038 Server and cook shift sheet are in the office. 399 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,128 Money bank drops are nightly. And the payroll is Friday. 400 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,131 Not bad. 401 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,483 Have fun. 402 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,530 This is empty. 403 00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:36,185 It's symbolic. You still have to pack. 404 00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,579 Rock stars don't do their own packing. 405 00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:41,799 It's gone to your head already. 406 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,283 And I hate wearing this dumb skin suit. 407 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:49,459 You complain too much, Bridget. 408 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:52,027 You wear your human suit all the time. 409 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,637 You just wore it yesterday. 410 00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,944 Only because I had to go to the store to refill my vape. 411 00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,554 I told you, that is harmful. 412 00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:58,729 This is stupid! 413 00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:00,253 It is not stupid for a father to want 414 00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,037 to spend time with his son. 415 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,996 The weather is horrible. It's windy. 416 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,694 - Agh! - You're freezing. 417 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,871 The waves are making me sick. 418 00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,612 I am not freezing. I'm warm. 419 00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,048 And sick is good. 420 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,658 You just throw up over the side. 421 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,400 It'll chum the waters. 422 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,146 How can I help you today? 423 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,756 Hey. 424 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,107 I put in an application to adopt a dog from your site. 425 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,412 Ruby. 426 00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:30,848 I hadn't heard back, so I thought 427 00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,154 I'd just come in and pick her up. 428 00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:33,677 The name's D'arcy Bloom. 429 00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,288 Well, let me see. 430 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,072 It probably just got lost. 431 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,293 We get backlogged here, so... 432 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:47,474 I'm sorry. Your application was rejected. 433 00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,520 What? 434 00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:54,785 We got some bad feedback from your references. 435 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,831 You must be kidding. 436 00:18:56,874 --> 00:19:00,182 We're just really strict about where we place our dogs. 437 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,532 It doesn't take much for the computer 438 00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:06,188 to flag something, even something small, 439 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:09,844 like arrested for public drunkenness 440 00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:12,368 and defacing a campus statue. 441 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:15,023 That was just crazy college fun. 442 00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,372 It was two months ago. 443 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:19,332 I didn't say I was in college. 444 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,899 We need to make sure we're moving our dogs 445 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:25,120 into a better home. 446 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,515 Better than a dog shelter? 447 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:29,820 Yes. 448 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:32,997 So what you're saying is that my life isn't 449 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:36,218 good enough for a dog? 450 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,872 - I'm sorry. - Sorry about what? 451 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,395 My life or the dog? 452 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,832 - I guess both? - Ah. 453 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,704 Wow. This is bullshit. 454 00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,923 This whole place is bullshit! And you know it! 455 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,273 I know. 456 00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:48,578 What kind of hoops do I have to jump through? 457 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,363 You want me to do some tricks? 458 00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:52,626 - No. - This is bullshit! 459 00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,589 Oh, hi, Susan. Are you ready to order? 460 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,156 Looks like you're in the wrong place. 461 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,419 I am just covering for my dad while he's out of town. 462 00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:04,681 Oh, hey. 463 00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:05,900 Are you staying on top of your medications? 464 00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:08,119 Cholesterol and diabetes. 465 00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:09,643 - Every day. - Good. 466 00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,384 OK. What can I get for you? 467 00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:15,257 Double cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake. 468 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:18,434 Um, did you ever think that if you didn't eat like that, 469 00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:20,436 you wouldn't have to be on those meds? 470 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,959 Do you ever think I went on those meds 471 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,527 so I can eat like that? 472 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,660 What do you say to a nice salad, 473 00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:29,053 a skinless chicken breast, and an unsweetened iced tea? 474 00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:31,665 I say, when does Dan get back? 475 00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:32,840 Oh, hey, Jay. 476 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,276 Sorry, you're not on the schedule today. 477 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,582 Yeah, Dan called. 478 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,366 He asked me to come in and help out. 479 00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,107 Oh. Well, I'm fine. I don't need any help. 480 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,630 So you can go. 481 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:43,154 He said you'd say that, and for me not to go. 482 00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:44,634 Great. 483 00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:46,157 If he doesn't trust me, why doesn't he just come back? 484 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,289 Maybe he should. 485 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,856 One more word out of you, Susan, 486 00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:51,641 I'm gonna bring you a bowl of kale and a glass of water. 487 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:54,775 Don't you have a wedding to plan? 488 00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:55,950 Does everyone know? 489 00:20:57,995 --> 00:20:58,953 Ugh! 490 00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:01,390 So that's it? 491 00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:02,739 You're shutting down the whole investigation? 492 00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:03,958 It's been a while since there's been a murder. 493 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:06,221 Seems the killer's moved out of our area. 494 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,570 So the FBI's reassigned the case 495 00:21:07,614 --> 00:21:09,224 to the Seattle field office. 496 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,965 What if the mantid didn't move on? 497 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,836 The what? What's a mantid? 498 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,490 What's a mantid? You didn't tell her? 499 00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:17,972 No, didn't mention that. And you don't need to either. 500 00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:19,321 OK. 501 00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:21,976 Mum's the word. 502 00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:23,978 I think the killer's a giant alien mantid 503 00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,632 that lives up in the hills. 504 00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:27,677 And I think the only reason that these murders haven't been 505 00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,201 happening recently is because it's been feeding on deer 506 00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:31,725 to throw us off the track. 507 00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,814 Now, I saw it with my own eyes, both of them. 508 00:21:33,857 --> 00:21:35,555 And I think that that thing is still up there, 509 00:21:35,598 --> 00:21:37,687 and it's just waiting. 510 00:21:37,731 --> 00:21:40,864 We'll take that under consideration. 511 00:21:40,908 --> 00:21:42,518 No, you won't. 512 00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:44,868 - No. - See? 513 00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:48,350 It's almost like I knew what you was gonna say, 514 00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:49,699 because I'm psychic. 515 00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:51,614 I think... I think... I think we've... 516 00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:52,789 Yes. 517 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,225 We've got to a natural stopping... 518 00:21:54,269 --> 00:21:55,618 - Yes. - Point. 519 00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:57,272 So... 520 00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:02,059 Debra said you wanted to see me? 521 00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:03,887 Yes. Yes. 522 00:22:03,931 --> 00:22:07,500 Um, Kate and I wanted to ask you over for dinner tonight. 523 00:22:07,543 --> 00:22:09,850 Really? Fun. 524 00:22:09,893 --> 00:22:12,069 John was just complaining we don't go out enough. 525 00:22:12,113 --> 00:22:13,375 Yeah. 526 00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:17,814 This isn't really a plus-one situation. 527 00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:19,642 Oh. 528 00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:22,079 But aren't both you and Kate gonna be there? 529 00:22:22,123 --> 00:22:25,256 Uh-huh. Yep. Yep. 530 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:29,348 But we both live there, so it's not really a plus one. 531 00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:32,742 A plus one for us would be if we each brought our own dates. 532 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,440 You know? How awkward would that be? 533 00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:36,093 Pretty awkward. 534 00:22:36,137 --> 00:22:39,749 It's kind of weird that you would even suggest it. 535 00:22:39,793 --> 00:22:41,751 - I didn't. - All is forgiven. 536 00:22:41,795 --> 00:22:43,623 Yeah, we'll... we'll laugh about it over dinner. 537 00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:46,277 Oh, I'm already laughing. 538 00:22:46,321 --> 00:22:48,889 - Super hard. - I'm laughing harder. 539 00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:54,808 They're dropping the serial killer investigation. 540 00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:57,419 Your cheerleader friend thinks the killer done moved on. 541 00:22:57,463 --> 00:22:59,552 And she didn't buy into my mantid theory. 542 00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:00,814 Could've used some backup in there. 543 00:23:00,857 --> 00:23:02,293 What was you doing talking to Ben? 544 00:23:02,337 --> 00:23:04,426 He just invited me over for dinner. 545 00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:06,341 I think he and Kate want to talk about something. 546 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,996 And I think it might be about aliens. 547 00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,389 Really? That's great. 548 00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:11,781 Maybe we can finally start getting some answers. 549 00:23:11,825 --> 00:23:13,217 Well, what time do they want us to be there? 550 00:23:13,261 --> 00:23:16,569 Oh, they just want me to come. 551 00:23:16,612 --> 00:23:18,962 What did Ben say when you demanded that I join you, 552 00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:20,486 and when you told him that you're only 553 00:23:20,529 --> 00:23:23,053 half a human being without me? 554 00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:25,142 I didn't say that. 555 00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,101 Uh-huh. 556 00:23:27,144 --> 00:23:28,668 I feel like this has something to do with me 557 00:23:28,711 --> 00:23:32,323 not giving you a closet hug. 558 00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:34,630 If you want fish so bad, pointing a stick at them is, 559 00:23:34,674 --> 00:23:36,719 like, the dumbest possible way to do it. 560 00:23:36,763 --> 00:23:38,155 That's not the point. 561 00:23:38,199 --> 00:23:40,680 As humans, fishing is not about catching fish. 562 00:23:40,723 --> 00:23:44,118 It's about talking about how we are not catching fish. 563 00:23:44,161 --> 00:23:45,598 Oh, darn it. 564 00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:47,643 It looks like the fish, they're just not biting. 565 00:23:47,687 --> 00:23:49,819 Those sons... sons of bitches! 566 00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:52,866 The truth is, I need my little baby Bridget to stay human 567 00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:54,824 because I do not know how to bond with him 568 00:23:54,868 --> 00:23:58,219 when he is in his alien form. 569 00:23:58,262 --> 00:24:00,482 No! Oh, no. Don't you do it. 570 00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:02,266 No. Hey, hey! Do not put that in your mouth. 571 00:24:02,310 --> 00:24:04,051 Throw it back. That's not what we're doing. 572 00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:06,357 No! You put it back. 573 00:24:06,401 --> 00:24:08,011 No, don't! Not like that! 574 00:24:09,535 --> 00:24:11,232 What is your problem? 575 00:24:11,275 --> 00:24:12,668 I'm trying to bond. 576 00:24:12,712 --> 00:24:14,496 Is it wrong for a human father 577 00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:17,978 who used to be an alien to want his half-human, half-alien son 578 00:24:18,021 --> 00:24:19,806 to be human, too? 579 00:24:19,849 --> 00:24:21,068 What? 580 00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:24,288 I'm not an alien anymore. 581 00:24:24,332 --> 00:24:26,116 I need you to be human. 582 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,857 That's not who I am. 583 00:24:27,901 --> 00:24:29,119 I'm both. 584 00:24:29,163 --> 00:24:30,643 And if you don't like it, 585 00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:32,601 go find yourself a little human boy to spend time with. 586 00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:35,561 No, Bridget, that's... I don't... don't do it! 587 00:24:35,604 --> 00:24:37,911 No, no! Bridget! 588 00:24:37,954 --> 00:24:39,216 Bridget! 589 00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:41,262 Such a good swimmer. 590 00:24:41,305 --> 00:24:43,177 That's a beautiful stroke. 591 00:24:47,573 --> 00:24:48,965 Good news! 592 00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:50,532 I'm adopting you. 593 00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:58,975 What are you doing here? And why are you in my bed? 594 00:24:59,019 --> 00:25:01,064 Well, ever since I became a human, 595 00:25:01,108 --> 00:25:02,675 I get cold really easily. 596 00:25:02,718 --> 00:25:03,980 Like when I used to get cold, 597 00:25:04,024 --> 00:25:06,026 and you'd call me a weak little chihuahua boy? 598 00:25:06,069 --> 00:25:07,680 Well, that was because your hair was short, 599 00:25:07,723 --> 00:25:11,335 and you were cute, which is why I've decided to adopt you. 600 00:25:11,379 --> 00:25:13,207 I want to give you a good family. 601 00:25:13,250 --> 00:25:16,123 Why would I let you adopt me? I don't even like you. 602 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:17,907 That is a lie. You love me. 603 00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:21,215 Remember when I used you as an ottoman? 604 00:25:21,258 --> 00:25:22,999 Oh, that was fun. 605 00:25:23,043 --> 00:25:25,132 For you. And it was different then. 606 00:25:25,175 --> 00:25:26,481 I mean, sure, you were mean to me 607 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:29,136 and tried to kill me a few times. 608 00:25:29,179 --> 00:25:30,920 At least you were an alien. 609 00:25:30,964 --> 00:25:32,922 Now you're just an old guy, 610 00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:35,055 a human, and not even a good one. 611 00:25:35,098 --> 00:25:36,622 How am I not a good human? 612 00:25:36,665 --> 00:25:40,582 Good humans don't sneak into young boys' bedrooms, 613 00:25:40,626 --> 00:25:43,367 get in their beds, and say, let's be friends. 614 00:25:43,411 --> 00:25:45,848 It's weird, and probably illegal. 615 00:25:45,892 --> 00:25:47,981 Fine. 616 00:25:48,024 --> 00:25:49,852 I will leave. 617 00:25:49,896 --> 00:25:51,898 Maybe you're the one who is weird. 618 00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:53,508 You ever think of that? 619 00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:54,901 Gross. 620 00:25:54,944 --> 00:25:56,424 What? 621 00:25:56,467 --> 00:25:59,209 Well, I get really cold, and then I get really hot. 622 00:26:02,169 --> 00:26:04,606 Being human sucks. 623 00:26:12,396 --> 00:26:13,876 OK. 624 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,225 Sorry it took so long. 625 00:26:15,269 --> 00:26:16,705 We are short staffed, so I booted your ticket 626 00:26:16,749 --> 00:26:18,272 to the back of the queue because you're my friend, 627 00:26:18,315 --> 00:26:20,535 and I knew you'd understand... what? 628 00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:22,015 Little cold. 629 00:26:22,058 --> 00:26:23,582 What would you say if they were free? 630 00:26:23,625 --> 00:26:25,061 Now they're warm and delicious. 631 00:26:25,105 --> 00:26:26,367 Melissa called from the clinic. 632 00:26:26,410 --> 00:26:27,673 They need you to come in and set a broken leg. 633 00:26:27,716 --> 00:26:29,196 Well, that's why Ellen's covering for me. 634 00:26:29,239 --> 00:26:30,632 She can do it. 635 00:26:30,676 --> 00:26:32,503 - Um... - Huh? 636 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,160 Can you warm these up? 637 00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:39,075 Ah! Uh... 638 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:40,773 - Breathe. - Why? 639 00:26:40,816 --> 00:26:42,165 That would just keep me alive. 640 00:26:48,128 --> 00:26:50,826 That waitress looks just like Asta. 641 00:26:50,870 --> 00:26:52,959 - OK. - Whoa. 642 00:26:53,002 --> 00:26:56,266 Um, how did it go with the dog? 643 00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:59,705 Um, pretty good. 644 00:26:59,748 --> 00:27:02,142 My name is Bernice. 645 00:27:02,185 --> 00:27:04,274 I am considered royalty. 646 00:27:04,318 --> 00:27:06,015 I'm in the market for a dog, 647 00:27:06,059 --> 00:27:07,538 one named... maybe it's like Ruby. 648 00:27:07,582 --> 00:27:09,845 Dogs deserve to be spent money on. 649 00:27:09,889 --> 00:27:11,325 And I have all the money. 650 00:27:11,368 --> 00:27:14,023 I can afford everything for the dog, 651 00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:16,373 like food, glasses of wine. 652 00:27:16,417 --> 00:27:20,160 We wear our chains with our initials on it. 653 00:27:20,203 --> 00:27:22,815 Riding together like, we're riding. 654 00:27:22,858 --> 00:27:26,470 Ruby deserves a wonderful home made of gold. 655 00:27:26,514 --> 00:27:27,820 You didn't get the dog, did you? 656 00:27:27,863 --> 00:27:29,125 I sure didn't. No. 657 00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:31,780 Don't freak out. 658 00:27:31,824 --> 00:27:33,652 - The refrigerator's broken. - Oh, God. 659 00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:35,305 OK, well, the refrigerator's gonna have to wait, 660 00:27:35,349 --> 00:27:37,699 because now I have to go set a broken leg. 661 00:27:37,743 --> 00:27:39,745 Ma'am? Excuse me. 662 00:27:39,788 --> 00:27:43,444 I'm sorry, but you look just like someone I know. 663 00:27:43,487 --> 00:27:46,055 Like... 664 00:27:51,757 --> 00:27:53,280 Rude. 665 00:27:56,370 --> 00:27:57,763 Thanks for the invite. 666 00:27:57,806 --> 00:27:59,808 The last dinner I went to was a murder mystery thing 667 00:27:59,852 --> 00:28:01,201 a couple months ago. 668 00:28:01,244 --> 00:28:02,811 Let me guess. 669 00:28:02,855 --> 00:28:04,334 You solved it right away and ruined the night for everyone? 670 00:28:04,378 --> 00:28:06,119 They knew I was a cop when they invited me. 671 00:28:06,162 --> 00:28:08,861 Well, this is just a casual dinner. 672 00:28:08,904 --> 00:28:10,558 No mysteries to solve. 673 00:28:10,601 --> 00:28:13,213 Just... just three friends hanging out. 674 00:28:13,256 --> 00:28:15,519 Exactly what I was hoping for. 675 00:28:15,563 --> 00:28:16,564 Whew! 676 00:28:16,607 --> 00:28:18,174 Oh, shit. 677 00:28:18,218 --> 00:28:19,480 Oh, hey. 678 00:28:19,523 --> 00:28:20,742 I didn't know if this was a doorbell house 679 00:28:20,786 --> 00:28:21,787 or a knock house. 680 00:28:21,830 --> 00:28:23,614 So you didn't do either. Welcome. 681 00:28:24,659 --> 00:28:25,791 Yeah, sorry I'm late, Deputy. 682 00:28:25,834 --> 00:28:26,922 I didn't know what y'all were serving, 683 00:28:26,966 --> 00:28:27,880 so I stopped and grabbed a chicken. 684 00:28:27,923 --> 00:28:29,708 We're actually serving chicken. 685 00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:30,970 Oh, good! 686 00:28:31,013 --> 00:28:32,232 I see you took my note from the last time, 687 00:28:32,275 --> 00:28:34,408 when, well, all you had was soup. 688 00:28:34,451 --> 00:28:36,410 Oh, uh, 689 00:28:36,453 --> 00:28:38,107 I brought a knife to cut the chicken. 690 00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:39,761 Oh, we... we also have knives. 691 00:28:39,805 --> 00:28:42,764 Oh, well, I prefer to use my own knife to cut my food, 692 00:28:42,808 --> 00:28:44,853 being that most Americans don't adhere to the proper 693 00:28:44,897 --> 00:28:46,246 knife sharpening regimen. 694 00:28:46,289 --> 00:28:47,769 Look at that. Oh-ho! 695 00:28:49,336 --> 00:28:50,424 Is there a regimen? 696 00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:53,122 Nobody wants jagged chicken, OK? 697 00:28:53,166 --> 00:28:54,341 Whoo! 698 00:28:54,384 --> 00:28:56,386 Smell like a bunch of yum up in this bitch. 699 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,406 Yeah. 700 00:29:16,450 --> 00:29:19,801 There's got to be an unlocked window or something. 701 00:29:19,845 --> 00:29:21,760 You know, it's bullshit they made me do this. 702 00:29:21,803 --> 00:29:25,067 You know, busting Ruby out of here isn't even stealing. 703 00:29:25,111 --> 00:29:26,677 It's a rescue mission. 704 00:29:26,721 --> 00:29:28,331 Yeah, it is. 705 00:29:31,508 --> 00:29:33,684 OK, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. 706 00:29:33,728 --> 00:29:35,208 Go. Try. 707 00:29:35,251 --> 00:29:37,471 What? How is it not 1234? 708 00:29:37,514 --> 00:29:38,994 You thought that would work? 709 00:29:39,038 --> 00:29:41,475 Everyone uses 1234 so you don't have to memorize it. 710 00:29:41,518 --> 00:29:43,433 What, does, like, Einstein work here or something? 711 00:29:43,477 --> 00:29:45,305 Oh, give me your credit card. 712 00:29:45,348 --> 00:29:47,263 Yes, Boss. OK. 713 00:29:47,307 --> 00:29:48,787 Here you go, Chef. 714 00:29:51,877 --> 00:29:53,356 - Got it. - Oh. 715 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,793 Yeah, that's right. 716 00:29:54,836 --> 00:29:56,838 All right, you want to... 717 00:29:56,882 --> 00:29:58,057 shit. 718 00:29:58,100 --> 00:29:59,972 - Sorry about that. - It's OK. 719 00:30:00,015 --> 00:30:01,321 - It's your card. - What? 720 00:30:01,364 --> 00:30:02,844 Why do you have my credit card? 721 00:30:02,888 --> 00:30:04,106 I got it the other night when we were at your place, 722 00:30:04,150 --> 00:30:05,455 remember? 723 00:30:05,499 --> 00:30:06,892 You said, help yourself to anything. 724 00:30:06,935 --> 00:30:09,503 So I took your credit card and your shower soap. 725 00:30:09,546 --> 00:30:12,854 Well, I didn't mean to steal my whole identity. 726 00:30:12,898 --> 00:30:13,986 I can get it. 727 00:30:14,029 --> 00:30:15,291 OK, wait. 728 00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:17,337 - I can't... - Oh, oh. 729 00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:18,555 - I can't... - Ooh, here. 730 00:30:18,599 --> 00:30:19,556 Let me try. Let me try. 731 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:20,993 Let me try. Let me try. 732 00:30:21,036 --> 00:30:22,821 I've got little bird arms. 733 00:30:22,864 --> 00:30:26,041 All right, watch this. 734 00:30:26,085 --> 00:30:27,738 OK. Get it, get it, get it. 735 00:30:27,782 --> 00:30:29,828 - So close. - Just a little bit. 736 00:30:31,568 --> 00:30:33,483 - I'm stuck. - You can't be stuck. 737 00:30:33,527 --> 00:30:34,876 - I'm stuck. - No. No. 738 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:35,964 Come on. 739 00:30:36,008 --> 00:30:37,096 Come on. 740 00:30:37,139 --> 00:30:38,271 Ow. 741 00:30:38,314 --> 00:30:40,664 Shh! 742 00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:41,752 Ah! 743 00:30:41,796 --> 00:30:43,319 Judy, the first rule of break-ins 744 00:30:43,363 --> 00:30:44,973 is don't get your arm stuck in the door. 745 00:30:45,017 --> 00:30:46,801 It's not a break-in unless you break something going in. 746 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,107 I'll get you out. 747 00:30:48,150 --> 00:30:49,630 I got you, girl! 748 00:30:49,673 --> 00:30:52,111 I got you! 749 00:30:53,634 --> 00:30:55,201 Now it's a break-in. Save yourself! 750 00:30:55,244 --> 00:30:56,898 Run! Go! 751 00:30:56,942 --> 00:30:58,552 I'll be OK. 752 00:30:59,988 --> 00:31:01,381 Get a saw. 753 00:31:01,424 --> 00:31:03,165 - Get a saw? - Get some pliers. 754 00:31:03,209 --> 00:31:04,645 It's your arm. 755 00:31:04,688 --> 00:31:05,776 I can get in. You can get out. 756 00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:06,865 OK, you get in. 757 00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:08,214 And then, once I'm in, you get... 758 00:31:08,257 --> 00:31:09,171 - OK. - You grab. 759 00:31:09,215 --> 00:31:10,303 You grab. Pull it. 760 00:31:10,346 --> 00:31:11,304 OK. I'm... 761 00:31:11,347 --> 00:31:12,305 - Ow. - Ow. 762 00:31:12,348 --> 00:31:13,306 - Ow. - Ow. 763 00:31:13,349 --> 00:31:14,437 - Ow. - Ow! 764 00:31:17,919 --> 00:31:20,617 - If there were a planet with only one creature on it, 765 00:31:20,661 --> 00:31:23,316 I imagine they would feel much more alone. 766 00:31:23,359 --> 00:31:25,622 But on Earth, there are billions of people. 767 00:31:25,666 --> 00:31:28,408 How is it possible that so many of them are lonely? 768 00:31:30,410 --> 00:31:33,369 Bridget, is that you? 769 00:31:35,763 --> 00:31:37,591 Announce yourself! 770 00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:42,726 And if you want to be my friend, the answer's yes! 771 00:31:48,558 --> 00:31:50,778 Harry? 772 00:31:50,821 --> 00:31:52,911 Peter? 773 00:31:52,954 --> 00:31:54,956 You're not an alien. 774 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,045 You're not human. 775 00:31:57,089 --> 00:31:59,830 I guess we've got a lot of catching up to do. 776 00:32:02,442 --> 00:32:03,878 Why did you come? 777 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:05,184 They wanted to talk. 778 00:32:05,227 --> 00:32:06,925 Now they'll never tell me anything. 779 00:32:06,968 --> 00:32:09,928 And if they do, it might just be misinformation. 780 00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:11,581 You know what? 781 00:32:11,625 --> 00:32:13,714 I think you're thinking of disinformation, because, see, 782 00:32:13,757 --> 00:32:15,281 misinformation isn't intended to... 783 00:32:15,324 --> 00:32:16,586 I don't care. 784 00:32:16,630 --> 00:32:18,023 Listen, do you think I would come over here 785 00:32:18,066 --> 00:32:19,720 and infiltrate this dinner to extract information 786 00:32:19,763 --> 00:32:23,245 with them without a plan, or a chicken and a carving knife? 787 00:32:23,289 --> 00:32:26,031 I would have thought that, but I never will again. 788 00:32:26,074 --> 00:32:28,250 - Unbelievable. - I know. 789 00:32:28,294 --> 00:32:31,079 Who invites themselves to a dinner party? 790 00:32:31,123 --> 00:32:33,342 Yeah, that too. But this knife is incredible. 791 00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:35,562 It's like slicing through yogurt. 792 00:32:35,605 --> 00:32:36,737 Ah. 793 00:32:36,780 --> 00:32:38,521 Hi, can you stop and look at me? 794 00:32:38,565 --> 00:32:40,045 What do we do? 795 00:32:40,088 --> 00:32:41,960 Do we just forget tonight and talk to Liv another time? 796 00:32:42,003 --> 00:32:44,266 No, no. You were right before. 797 00:32:44,310 --> 00:32:46,573 Our baby is out there, and we need information right now. 798 00:32:46,616 --> 00:32:48,270 We... we can't risk waiting. 799 00:32:48,314 --> 00:32:51,752 OK, you find some way to get Mike out, and I'll talk to Liv. 800 00:32:51,795 --> 00:32:53,493 Got it. Wait, and Kate. 801 00:32:53,536 --> 00:32:54,973 Yeah? 802 00:32:55,016 --> 00:32:57,410 Put knife sharpener on my Christmas list. 803 00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:08,812 Oh. You opened more wine? 804 00:33:08,856 --> 00:33:10,640 Oh, yeah. I hope it's OK. 805 00:33:10,684 --> 00:33:12,729 Not really a wine guy. 806 00:33:12,773 --> 00:33:16,342 So I wasn't sure if this was one of your special occasion, 807 00:33:16,385 --> 00:33:17,865 pricey wines. 808 00:33:17,908 --> 00:33:19,127 And yet you zeroed right in on it. 809 00:33:19,171 --> 00:33:20,346 Well, you know, I just think it's easier 810 00:33:20,389 --> 00:33:21,956 for people to talk when they drink. 811 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,002 You know, back in DC, when we had a suspect, 812 00:33:24,045 --> 00:33:26,308 on the way down to the jail, we'd stop by a bar 813 00:33:26,352 --> 00:33:28,658 and get 'em nice and liquored up before we chat. 814 00:33:28,702 --> 00:33:30,704 I'm not in uniform, so I didn't hear that. 815 00:33:30,747 --> 00:33:31,792 Yeah, go ahead. 816 00:33:31,835 --> 00:33:33,098 Drink up. 817 00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:35,970 Oh, uh, you know what might be fun first? 818 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:37,972 If I show you my candle collection. 819 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:41,584 Oh. No, thank you. I don't like candles. 820 00:33:41,628 --> 00:33:44,239 - Honey. - Huh? 821 00:33:44,283 --> 00:33:46,372 Sorry. Uh, 822 00:33:46,415 --> 00:33:49,201 what exactly doesn't work for you 823 00:33:49,244 --> 00:33:53,205 about the tiny, magical controlled fire 824 00:33:53,248 --> 00:33:55,250 that has been illuminating the lives of human beings 825 00:33:55,294 --> 00:33:56,991 for thousands of years? 826 00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,166 Well, see, I just don't get the point. 827 00:33:58,210 --> 00:33:59,689 I mean, light bulbs were invented 828 00:33:59,733 --> 00:34:01,256 over a hundred years ago. 829 00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:02,866 What's candles still sticking around for? 830 00:34:02,910 --> 00:34:04,738 Uh, romance? 831 00:34:04,781 --> 00:34:07,436 Ambiance? Celebration? 832 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:08,959 - Rituals? - Yeah. 833 00:34:09,003 --> 00:34:10,700 - Health? Holiday smells? - You know what? 834 00:34:10,744 --> 00:34:12,833 That sounds like Big Candle talking to me. 835 00:34:12,876 --> 00:34:14,095 And you want to know the truth? 836 00:34:14,139 --> 00:34:16,532 Candles mean death, right? 837 00:34:16,576 --> 00:34:18,186 'Cause all I know is Colonel Mustard, 838 00:34:18,230 --> 00:34:20,058 he didn't kill Professor Plum in the study 839 00:34:20,101 --> 00:34:21,537 with a light bulb stick. 840 00:34:21,581 --> 00:34:23,017 OK? 841 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,323 Well, on your birthday, 842 00:34:24,366 --> 00:34:26,020 I hope you enjoy blowing out your light bulbs. 843 00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:27,065 Yeah, well, you know what? Wrong again. 844 00:34:27,108 --> 00:34:28,370 I don't blow them out. 845 00:34:28,414 --> 00:34:29,850 I pinch them out with spit fingers like a man. 846 00:34:29,893 --> 00:34:32,070 I wish someone would kill me with a light bulb stick. 847 00:34:32,113 --> 00:34:34,202 I'm right there with you. 848 00:34:34,246 --> 00:34:36,074 So my son was in the moon? 849 00:34:36,117 --> 00:34:38,380 Yes, then Vegas. 850 00:34:38,424 --> 00:34:41,079 Oh. I think I prefer the moon. 851 00:34:41,122 --> 00:34:43,342 I hope he didn't go to those girlie shows. 852 00:34:43,385 --> 00:34:46,475 I'm sorry I do not know where he is now. 853 00:34:46,519 --> 00:34:49,522 He was very kind to Bridget and me in prison. 854 00:34:49,565 --> 00:34:51,437 How is your boy? 855 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:52,568 He hates me. 856 00:34:52,612 --> 00:34:55,832 I'm sure that's not true. 857 00:34:55,876 --> 00:34:59,009 No, I tried to make him be my friend, and he would not. 858 00:34:59,053 --> 00:35:00,576 No one would. 859 00:35:00,620 --> 00:35:03,753 In my experience, people like being with people 860 00:35:03,797 --> 00:35:06,147 who like being with themselves. 861 00:35:06,191 --> 00:35:08,541 Why would I want to be with me? 862 00:35:08,584 --> 00:35:10,499 A loser with no friends. 863 00:35:10,543 --> 00:35:12,110 You were pretty comfortable with yourself 864 00:35:12,153 --> 00:35:13,676 when you were an alien. 865 00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:16,897 I know how to be an alien. 866 00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:19,769 But I'm not an alien anymore. 867 00:35:19,813 --> 00:35:23,338 But I don't feel like a human. I'm neither. 868 00:35:23,382 --> 00:35:25,471 No. 869 00:35:25,514 --> 00:35:27,125 You're both. 870 00:35:27,168 --> 00:35:28,256 Look at me. 871 00:35:28,300 --> 00:35:30,780 - I'm trying, but it's hard. - I know. 872 00:35:30,824 --> 00:35:32,652 I'm this robot. 873 00:35:32,695 --> 00:35:34,262 But I feel like a human. 874 00:35:34,306 --> 00:35:36,090 You are half of each. 875 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:37,700 No, not half of each. 876 00:35:37,744 --> 00:35:39,485 100% of both. 877 00:35:39,528 --> 00:35:42,531 That is bad math, especially for a robot. 878 00:35:42,575 --> 00:35:46,492 I am everything I was and everything I am. 879 00:35:46,535 --> 00:35:49,669 You are both human and alien now, 880 00:35:49,712 --> 00:35:51,192 and that's a good thing. 881 00:35:54,064 --> 00:35:55,588 I hope you're right. 882 00:35:55,631 --> 00:35:57,329 Just remember, 883 00:35:57,372 --> 00:36:02,203 the only person who will always be with you is you. 884 00:36:02,247 --> 00:36:06,381 And when that's enough, you'll never be lonely. 885 00:36:08,340 --> 00:36:11,386 Now, I have to go find my son. 886 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:15,477 Good luck with yours. 887 00:36:15,521 --> 00:36:16,652 Thank you. 888 00:36:20,526 --> 00:36:22,528 We have to switch things up. 889 00:36:22,571 --> 00:36:23,920 I'll take Liv. 890 00:36:23,964 --> 00:36:25,400 You distract the candle hater. 891 00:36:25,444 --> 00:36:27,097 I mean, I can't even look at him right now. 892 00:36:27,141 --> 00:36:28,229 Do you think you can get her to talk? 893 00:36:28,273 --> 00:36:29,796 Just keep Mike busy. 894 00:36:29,839 --> 00:36:32,842 You have my permission to use your feminine wiles. 895 00:36:32,886 --> 00:36:34,192 My feminine wiles? 896 00:36:34,235 --> 00:36:36,019 Yeah, a little bit of the... 897 00:36:36,063 --> 00:36:37,456 Va-va-voom. 898 00:36:37,499 --> 00:36:38,631 Oh. 899 00:36:38,674 --> 00:36:39,980 Sure, Ben. 900 00:36:40,023 --> 00:36:42,200 See you in 1958. 901 00:36:43,679 --> 00:36:45,420 I think we might need a new plan. 902 00:36:45,464 --> 00:36:46,856 Yeah. 903 00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:48,293 It's so weird that insulting the man's life passion 904 00:36:48,336 --> 00:36:49,903 didn't open them right up. 905 00:36:49,946 --> 00:36:51,209 Deputy, candles aren't a passion. 906 00:36:51,252 --> 00:36:53,254 They're a light source. 907 00:36:53,298 --> 00:36:56,605 Talking about a passion for a candle. 908 00:36:56,649 --> 00:36:58,955 Hello. 909 00:36:58,999 --> 00:37:00,348 - What? - Yeah, come here. 910 00:37:00,392 --> 00:37:03,221 Look, look, look. Look at this. 911 00:37:03,264 --> 00:37:04,700 It's a little teeny-tiny camera. 912 00:37:04,744 --> 00:37:06,049 Damn. 913 00:37:06,093 --> 00:37:07,225 All this time, we've been trying 914 00:37:07,268 --> 00:37:08,704 to figure out their secret. 915 00:37:08,748 --> 00:37:10,880 And now we know. 916 00:37:10,924 --> 00:37:12,273 They're swingers. 917 00:37:12,317 --> 00:37:13,796 What? No. 918 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,276 Deputy, can't you think of any other reason 919 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,712 to have a hidden camera in your house? 920 00:37:16,756 --> 00:37:18,714 Probably only 50. 921 00:37:18,758 --> 00:37:21,717 I just don't see Ben and Kate as swingers. 922 00:37:21,761 --> 00:37:23,153 Maybe Kate? 923 00:37:23,197 --> 00:37:24,677 Definitely Kate. 924 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,853 But Ben won't even take his shirt off at the pool. 925 00:37:26,896 --> 00:37:28,898 Deputy, it's never the ones you expect. 926 00:37:28,942 --> 00:37:30,204 Trust me. 927 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:31,814 I done seen enough depraved sexual behaviors 928 00:37:31,858 --> 00:37:33,381 and appetites for a lifetime. 929 00:37:33,425 --> 00:37:34,382 Was that when you were in Vice? 930 00:37:34,426 --> 00:37:36,210 - No, Tampa. - Oh. 931 00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:38,168 Who's up for some after-dinner cordials? 932 00:37:38,212 --> 00:37:40,040 - Oh, actually, I'm... - Oh, whoops. 933 00:37:40,083 --> 00:37:41,346 Oh. 934 00:37:41,389 --> 00:37:43,391 - God, clumsy me. - Oh, Ben. 935 00:37:43,435 --> 00:37:45,306 Take Liv to the bathroom 936 00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:47,134 and get that stain out before it sets! 937 00:37:47,177 --> 00:37:48,222 Yeah, let's get that blouse off you. 938 00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:49,223 - Yeah. - Yeah. 939 00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:50,746 I'm not a swinger! 940 00:37:50,790 --> 00:37:53,096 Um, what? 941 00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:54,446 Don't play dumb. 942 00:37:54,489 --> 00:37:56,230 We found your tiny hidden camera. 943 00:37:58,624 --> 00:38:01,453 - Ben? - What? I didn't put it there. 944 00:38:01,496 --> 00:38:04,151 - Neither did I. - Then who did? 945 00:38:04,194 --> 00:38:05,587 Oh, my God. Ben. 946 00:38:05,631 --> 00:38:07,415 - What? - The cookie girls. 947 00:38:07,459 --> 00:38:08,460 What cookie girls? 948 00:38:08,503 --> 00:38:10,200 - In our house? - I know. 949 00:38:10,244 --> 00:38:11,419 - What cookie girls? - The aliens! 950 00:38:11,463 --> 00:38:13,639 The ones who took our baby. 951 00:38:20,776 --> 00:38:22,952 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 952 00:38:23,692 --> 00:38:25,346 Breaking and entering. 953 00:38:25,390 --> 00:38:26,913 Well, really just breaking. 954 00:38:26,956 --> 00:38:29,655 We didn't even get in. 955 00:38:29,698 --> 00:38:32,135 It didn't have to go down this way. 956 00:38:32,179 --> 00:38:35,835 Saying my lifestyle isn't stable enough for a dog. 957 00:38:35,878 --> 00:38:38,185 You sure showed them, huh? 958 00:38:38,228 --> 00:38:39,447 Yeah. 959 00:38:39,491 --> 00:38:41,580 Well, now I have a court date. 960 00:38:41,623 --> 00:38:42,711 Oh, will you go with me? 961 00:38:42,755 --> 00:38:44,409 You need a ride, don't you? 962 00:38:44,452 --> 00:38:45,975 My car got booted last week. 963 00:38:46,019 --> 00:38:48,500 Oh, God. Of course it did. 964 00:38:48,543 --> 00:38:50,632 - D'arcy... - I know. I know. 965 00:38:50,676 --> 00:38:53,200 Don't say anything. I know. 966 00:38:53,243 --> 00:38:54,897 OK. Good. 967 00:38:54,941 --> 00:38:57,117 Oh, great. 968 00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,859 The refrigerator guy's running late. 969 00:38:59,902 --> 00:39:02,992 I'd keep you company, but I gotta close tonight. 970 00:39:03,036 --> 00:39:04,951 Oh, wait, are you doing the bank drop for the bar? 971 00:39:04,994 --> 00:39:07,997 - Mm. - OK. 972 00:39:08,041 --> 00:39:09,608 Can you do mine, too? 973 00:39:09,651 --> 00:39:11,740 Yeah. Gimme, gimme. 974 00:39:11,784 --> 00:39:13,829 - Thank you. - See? 975 00:39:13,873 --> 00:39:17,442 I'm a good person. I deserve a dog. 976 00:39:34,284 --> 00:39:36,374 Teddy, can I get a whiskey soda? 977 00:39:36,417 --> 00:39:38,854 Yep. 978 00:39:43,468 --> 00:39:45,252 Well, at least they gave you your credit card back, 979 00:39:45,295 --> 00:39:47,080 so you can pay for these drinks. 980 00:39:47,123 --> 00:39:50,344 Oh, and I'll give you your sneakers back tomorrow. 981 00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:51,650 Those are my sneakers? 982 00:39:51,693 --> 00:39:52,694 Yeah. 983 00:39:52,738 --> 00:39:54,043 But don't worry, 984 00:39:54,087 --> 00:39:55,915 I'm not wearing any gross, sweaty socks. 985 00:39:55,958 --> 00:39:57,786 It's just my raw feet. 986 00:39:57,830 --> 00:39:59,658 Cool. 987 00:39:59,701 --> 00:40:01,399 This is all that shelter's fault. 988 00:40:01,442 --> 00:40:03,183 I mean, you were just trying to save a dog. 989 00:40:03,226 --> 00:40:05,359 Right? That's what I said to Asta. 990 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,665 She wasn't buying it. 991 00:40:06,708 --> 00:40:08,275 What'd she say? 992 00:40:08,318 --> 00:40:09,885 Nothing. 993 00:40:09,929 --> 00:40:12,801 She just has a way of saying a lot without saying anything. 994 00:40:12,845 --> 00:40:14,368 Well, I don't care what she didn't say. 995 00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,717 She should take it back. 996 00:40:15,761 --> 00:40:17,589 Yeah. That's fine. 997 00:40:17,632 --> 00:40:19,199 She'll get over it. 998 00:40:19,242 --> 00:40:23,551 I mean, she just has a lot going on, kind of thing. 999 00:40:23,595 --> 00:40:26,249 Anyway, I'm pretty tired. 1000 00:40:26,293 --> 00:40:27,381 Yeah. 1001 00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:30,166 I'll probably take it easy tonight. 1002 00:40:39,349 --> 00:40:40,786 Ugh. 1003 00:40:42,222 --> 00:40:43,919 Oh, no. 1004 00:40:45,660 --> 00:40:47,140 No. 1005 00:40:47,183 --> 00:40:48,446 No, no. 1006 00:40:48,489 --> 00:40:50,099 Shit! 1007 00:40:50,143 --> 00:40:51,318 Shit. 1008 00:40:53,233 --> 00:40:55,888 Asta's money. No! 1009 00:40:55,931 --> 00:40:58,064 Shit! Shit! 1010 00:40:58,107 --> 00:40:59,892 - As humans, we are good at knowing 1011 00:40:59,935 --> 00:41:02,721 who we were and who we think we are, 1012 00:41:02,764 --> 00:41:05,985 but not so good at knowing who we really are. 1013 00:41:06,028 --> 00:41:07,552 Damn it. 1014 00:41:11,686 --> 00:41:13,732 Me, I know that I was an alien, 1015 00:41:13,775 --> 00:41:15,908 and now I am a human, 1016 00:41:15,951 --> 00:41:18,954 and that I have a son who is both, 1017 00:41:18,998 --> 00:41:22,523 and that inside, so am I. 1018 00:41:22,567 --> 00:41:24,438 There we go. 1019 00:41:31,314 --> 00:41:33,360 - Hey. You're here early. 1020 00:41:33,403 --> 00:41:36,581 Yes, I'm done fishing with Bridget. 1021 00:41:36,624 --> 00:41:39,671 And I want some pie, 1022 00:41:39,714 --> 00:41:42,456 or anything that doesn't smell like fish. 1023 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,979 OK. 1024 00:41:45,851 --> 00:41:48,593 Does it make me a bad manager if I hope no customers come in? 1025 00:41:48,636 --> 00:41:49,768 No. 1026 00:41:49,811 --> 00:41:51,334 That just means more pie for me. 1027 00:41:51,378 --> 00:41:54,207 I thought I could take care of the diner no problem, 1028 00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:55,382 you know? 1029 00:41:55,425 --> 00:41:57,602 I wanted my dad to be proud of me. 1030 00:41:57,645 --> 00:41:59,517 But it's too much. 1031 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,475 I'm a failure. 1032 00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:04,173 You are a failure. 1033 00:42:04,217 --> 00:42:06,349 - What? - But you're also a success. 1034 00:42:06,393 --> 00:42:09,744 You need to find the part of you that is a success 1035 00:42:09,788 --> 00:42:11,311 and then love it. 1036 00:42:11,354 --> 00:42:15,228 And then that will be the part that you are. 1037 00:42:15,271 --> 00:42:17,926 That actually makes sense. 1038 00:42:17,970 --> 00:42:21,626 There's really a lot about you to love. 1039 00:42:21,669 --> 00:42:24,063 You have silky, very nice hair. 1040 00:42:24,106 --> 00:42:27,588 And you are also very kind. 1041 00:42:27,632 --> 00:42:30,635 You're not gonna propose to me again, are you? 1042 00:42:30,678 --> 00:42:31,853 Sorry, Asta. 1043 00:42:31,897 --> 00:42:34,160 You're in the friend zone. 1044 00:42:34,203 --> 00:42:35,857 If you had wanted more, 1045 00:42:35,901 --> 00:42:37,163 you should have snuck up in my back door 1046 00:42:37,206 --> 00:42:38,686 and grabbed a hold of my cupcake. 1047 00:42:38,730 --> 00:42:41,559 No, God. I'm good. 1048 00:42:41,602 --> 00:42:44,953 Here's to being friends. 1049 00:42:44,997 --> 00:42:47,129 Human friends. 1050 00:42:53,658 --> 00:42:55,964 Harry? 1051 00:42:59,489 --> 00:43:01,230 Harry?